I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
