The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
