someone get that fucking seahorse.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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