How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
