Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
you would pick up someone in the library
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
