I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
