dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
