What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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