I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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