Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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