dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
