and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
