My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
