Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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