woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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