All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
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