do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
