I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Two words: blizzard sex
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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