All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
