He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize