capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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