That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
