I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
