Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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