You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Randomize
