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no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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