even the AIR tastes like tequila.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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