what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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