well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
