Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
