turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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