since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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