fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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