I just cut my nipple shaving
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
