i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
