so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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