I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
