she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
