My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
