true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize