one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Houston, we have a squirter
I booty called her while she was in labor.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
