Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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