Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
