Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
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