he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize