Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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