Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
