Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
