this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Dick very happy bro
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
