Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
