Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
