Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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