Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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