i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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