Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
