At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize