i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
