Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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