Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
