I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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