remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
