im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
