Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
