I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
