Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
