Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
