she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
