What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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